Monday, June 15, 2009
Do we feel scared over perception or reality? I feel scared right now maybe over the peception that I'm getting ready to lose what I have wanted for such a long time and that is a man who truly loves me for me! For the longest time I've dealt with the reality that nearly everyone in my life would somehow abandon me and the only way that they would not is for them to make a huge commitment not to! I'm asking the same thing from him, He is being honest with me he doesn't know how this will play out and I want him to be a "fortune teller" so to speak! Why do i feel the perception of losing you when I know you just need time to breathe from me! I can't understand my own stupidity sometimes! I hope that you will not be another man who walks away because I'm still learning what it's like to have someone love me and not run away! I know I've hurt you and sometimes I feel i can't stop myself I just don't want to get hurt again! Ir can really be lonely without anyone helping you in your life. Just lately i've had that! Maybe that is why i want to keep the kids because I never want them to feel abandoned. I love you, Wayne!